But I guess I'll just start writing anyway...
Spring is coming, and everything seems to be waking up around me. Trees seem to breathe more, fuller breaths.... buds on every bush, and today, I'm comfortably wearing a warm-up jacket. It smells like soccer season.
I can remember when I first moved up here that I would really feel the seasons. Growing up in Colorado, each season is usually pretty tangible, you can feel the momentum of the earth's rotation, and watch the stars in the sky change, disappear and reappear. I've always been excited about winter because Orion makes his appearance. And in the summer, he's gone. There are soooo many stars up here, even more than you can see at The Ranch. And I really didn't even know the extent until I put my friend's glasses on. I was missing out on so many little pockets of the universe. So much so, that I am going to drop a few bills just so I can look at the stars through a pair of glasses. I can truly function in pretty much every other part of my life without glasses... but to miss out on see the depths of the sky here... I can't miss out on that.
I think I tend to be a pretty spacey dude sometimes. And I feel so at home with just kinda zoning out and looking at the stars till you get a crick in your neck. It's like all my crazy thoughts and neouses, all my worries and weight of just being alive get pulled into the night sky when I look at its vastness. And it doesn't happen when I'm looking at anything in particular, not when I'm admiring Orion, but when I'm just staring at the whole thing, and feeling like the whole thing is staring right back at me.
I think my most vivid experience of this was at the Dunes.
I want to take some of my new friends there. Which is somehow kind of conflicting because that place is so special to me, and my childhood buddies. It's like I want to get permission from Ben and Boomer to actually take people that they don't know to the bowl. But I've been thinking about that spot a lot lately. That is the greatest church I've ever been to. That place is my Sun Dance tree, it's my Vatican, it's my Mecca. And yet, ultimately, why can't every place be like that? Why do we as humans have to distinguish one place from another as more special. I don't know, but it makes sense, somehow, because hanging out in a bar in Boulder, smoking cigarettes and getting drunk is simply not the same, or as meaningful to me, as smoking cigarettes and getting drunk at the dunes.
Winter in Yin... inward, cold, nurturing, honesty... Summer is Yang... extension, outward, bloom.
It's not even Spring time yet, but the past few days have been a taste. It's not so fucking cold every day.
I think it's supposed to snow tomorrow.
Cool.
Here's to the neverending seasons. I appreciate you all.
2 comments:
i miss the stars.
Miguel Masando- I know exactly how you feel brother. Being at the dunes with the people I love the most is the closest thing I've had to a "religious experience". I can't quite explain with words what I've seen and felt there. I think that some people call it God, some call it happiness, some may even call it truth. Whatever "it" is, it has never left me. Unlike day to day joy and satisfaction, ie. getting wasted in Boulder, I can always take myself back to those moments and feel true happiness, if only for the moment. I'm pretty sure that its not the drugs either. I have eaten drugs in many a place, and not eaten drugs at the dunes, and suffice to say the dunes always give me the same feeling of peace and connectedness. It is incredible to see mountains move and skies transform. It's like living for a thousand years in one instant. It's quite comforting to know that life is so long and short, important and insignificant, all simultaneously. Let us have us another ceremony at the dunes this summer my friend. Substances optional, fun gauranteed.
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